I mean this really gently and sadly , but i cant help thinking that the love that many people describe to me sounds allot more like ownership than liberation . Love is the most powerful force on the planet and it does not create fear base thinking like jealousy and control . Those are forces that come from a perceived ownership and control of another human being . On an even sadder note , love is not conditional , it is not something that you can ever switch off again , if your love is gone now that you break up it simply was not love . If you are not sure if you are truly experiencing a higher form of love think about anybody you ever told that you love them no matter how long ago , the mere thought of thinking about them should bring love to your heart . If immediately you find yourself justifying angrily that that person destroyed your love , I am afraid I disagree , they maybe hurt and destroyed your version of happiness and control of a situation with another human being . Love is eternal , gentle and kind . Now granted sometimes you might through love for yourself and another person be forced to walk away from each other , but that will never be able to effect the fact that you truly love that person and always will .
Amazingly enough when two people are screaming at each other , hearts torn out at a end of a relationship , all I hear them scream is ” YOU NEVER MADE ME HAPPY AND I HOPED YOU WOULD ’ The situation might outplay in a thousand different ways , with blame laid all over , but its nearly always the same . We are so empty that we constantly look to other people to make us feel special , fill us with meaning and to tell us we are beautiful . Even more revealing is 98 % of people that have a broken heart are the ones that where rejected . So logically if you approach it fearlessly you will realize that is the act of rejection that we can not deal with , not loosing that person , and in trying to deal with this horrific emotion we loose all perspective of who that person really was !!!!
No matter how hard you try , if you have a hole inside , nothing that anybody else does can alleviate it in the long run . The irony is that only when we are finally ok with ourselves and feel absolutely no lack of anything in not being completed by another , are we probably ready to have a successful truly meaningful relationship for the first time . Incredibly enough this is the first time we could deal with rejection and thereby have the power of being able to truly perceive a situation when difficult times arise!
As I once wrote , I don’t want you to complete you . You must have your world and I must have mine . Then we can hold hands as we can explore each others universes.
Every single relationship helps us grow in some way , but perhaps we should throw this generic love concept around a little less .
You truly can only experience a higher unconditional love for another being when you feel the same way about yourself . Until then it is all the shades between constantly reaching out and teaching with each tear that runs down your cheek !
Maybe its time to spend some time alone first , so that you don’t end up alone . Mark my words , your relationship with another person will never surpass the one you have with the person in the mirror ! And no person will ever respect you more than you do yourself !